I may be sad because he ties his own shoes now, buckles his own seatbelt and can pour his own cereal...will he forget me? or just quit needing me?
I like Michael alot. He's funny and quick, and tender and caring and smart and did I mention funny? He's a deep, deep well that you can't predict - I like that.
I was thinking recently about my parenting goals...I ponder that alot. For a while now I've been saying that we need to keep the end in sight - we're raising adults - not good kids in bigger bodies. We need to raise grown ups that we would hire, that we would befriend, that we would enjoy having as neighbors; grown ups that are effective and obedient to God.
I may want to revise that a bit ... there's this picture stalking my mind. I see Michael in our home for years as a boy, learning and growing and changing - becoming a man. And then I see the sun rising as Jesus walks toward him with his arms open wide - and Michael leaves me and chooses to take His hand and off they go down a new road.
I'm not sure why that makes me sad - because I don't imagine that as Michael moving on to heaven - but more Michael moving on into a personal, dependent, submitted relationship of worship and adoration with His Lord. The two of them walking that out in college, and marriage and career and fatherhood and ultimately eternity.
So if that's the end game, then my job today and tomorrow must become totally focused on helping Michael grow more aware and more comfortable with the ways of God. I must share with him the blessings of obedience, the need for surrender, the wonder of worship, the majesty of a friend God ... so that when the moment comes it will be seamless for Him. I long for all our children to become so comfortable sharing their lives with Jesus in our homes that it's just a given in their adult lives.
I need more time - I need time to move more slowly, I need more God in me and my life ...and yet in my weakness He is strong, and it's not by my might - but by His power says my Lord, and I can do all things thru Him who gives me strength....
Father, again I ask you to please raise this mighty warrior for your kingdom in spite of me and when you can, with me. I long for Michael to know you in ways I can onlly imagine, I long for Him to have your love and compassion for the lost and the saved, I pray you'll fill him with the spirit of a tender tiger as He pursues Your will for his life. Make him a man of ministry and effectiveness, make him a man of prayer and great favor - give him even tonight as he's brushing all of those new teeth - give him an UNQUENCHABLE thirst for You and Your word.
Help me serve You and him - as You build him into all of those things.
and please help me quit crying before the party.
Thank you for Michael God.
3 comments:
Oh, that is BEAUTIFUL! You have such a gift of words.
Happy early Bday. I remember when those babies were just infants. I remember being amazed at Michael's ability to sign, such a clever boy even as a toddler. You inspire me so much Cindy to slow down and look at the bigger picture and not to just getting to bed time somedays. Were you able to get on the blog?
OOOhh I love that boy. And you.
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